“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you…” 1 Corinthians 5:1.
Sex, the word sex in the Bible, is never used to describe the physical union that God created. That word is always followed by immorality or sexual immorality. I find that completely fascinating. Even this word, sex, seems to defraud us of the mystery of the God created, God intended union that happens between a husband and wife.
The words used to describe the physical intimacy as God created it, are far more intimate. Words like “going into,” “went into,” “knew” and my favorite word “know.” To know someone intimately. To go into someone. In the Garden of Eden, before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. There was no hiding. They quite literally bared it all in front of each other without any fear or shame or hiding.
Now, I am not married, but that kind of unraveling, being able to be completely naked with someone emotionally, physically and psychologically without fear and shame is something I look forward to in marriage.
God kind of intimacy is meant to be known without fear and shame.
Anything else is counterfeit. Anything else is just sex or rape or lust or porn or a way to defraud each other. I know, because I have been there. I have felt the cruel pain. I have known the immorality. The lasting effects a moment can have on one psychologically. The mix of emotions. The confusion. The alienation. The uncertainty of calling it rape or stealing or fornication or sin or just knowing that it was not a moment of God intended physical intimacy. It was not the kind of physical intimacy God created it to be.
Like Adam and Eve. I too have been eager for knowledge, eager to know. I too, have bitten from the tree of knowledge and know intimately the shame and alienation of being exposed to someone who will never care for my soul.
I know the trauma.
I quit my job after it happened because the psychological pain, the torture, the guilt, the confusion, was unbearably devastating and there was no one who could ease my mind. Sexual immorality is devastating. God created intimacy is meant to bring healing and wholeness and trust and union.
When God says run from such immorality, He means it. When He says not to even have sexual immorality named among us, it is because He intends for something more, something better, something that will not leave us ashamed. He intends for us to one day be fully known, flaws and all, and still loved. He intends to save us from the shame and hiding that comes from sin.
The kind of intimacy that God created for us, is pure, it is not called sex, and is not limited by our physical bodies. Having a pure intimate heart and mind is something that we can grow into more deeply as we get to know God. It is not something that is lost or taken away or stolen.
The Creator wants that kind of intimacy with us too. He wants to be known by us and He wants us to bare our souls completely to Him. He is the only one who can truly handle all our sinful flaws and still love us and care for our souls.
These things that Satan intends to use for evil against us, God means for our good and His glory. This shame that has worn me down, that keeps me in hiding, that torments me late at night, is perhaps the very testimony, the very story that someone needs to read. God chooses foolish, weak and broken people like me to share the good news that there is still hope, there is still grace found in God. Even if, it is God alone who gives us this grace. So I share this unnamable experience because the things that stay in darkness never receive the light of grace.
“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Jesus Christ is the Lord over our restoration. He uses all things, even the broken pieces of our lives, the immorality named among us, for our good and His glory. If we pursue the true intimacy of knowing the love of God with a pure heart, which cannot be stolen, we will be made new. God always leaves us with a remnant of hope.
“For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you. With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you.” Isaiah 54:7-8